Cheese is not your enemy.......but socks are

Hello again my lovelies,

So how are you all, have you settled into this Lockdown of sorts? I say of sorts because it doesn't quite feel the same what with so many shops still open and the school run still happening, and so on.

But it is a lockdown all the same and it was hard the first time around for so many.  I thought long and hard about this lockdown and although the announcement made me feel a bit blue, I decided to try and keep things positive. Now I know what your thinking, 'That's easy to say Kayleigh but hard to put into practice.' And trust me I know that, life wasn't set to easy mode for anyone when born and, like some video games, life has a way of adapting to the way you live and adjusting the difficulty.  But it's how we react to these changes, what we do when things like this happens.  Do we hide and hope it goes away, do we sit down and eat ourselves into oblivion and fall deep into our own sadness it's hard to climb out?  To be honest I can't answer that for you, no one but you knows that answer and it's different for everyone.

Before I start I want to thank my eight year old son for the title of this blog, socks are his worst nightmare and he thought adding socks are would be funny! 

I wanted to share a few I found that helped me, not just during lockdown but before and indeed after it.  I'll touch on things like how I kept my mind active, my weight, how I found that simply writing a letter or two not only made me feel happy but those I sent them too and other things.  I'll also be adding links to videos and books here and there so keep a look out.

Make time.....write a letter......make a new friend.

I wanted to start with something I personally feel proud of, it's something small but so important to two lovely ladies.  I'm talking about Mrs Edith Tulley and Mrs Nora Morris from my local care home.  I'm sure anyone who is human with a warm beating heart felt the sorrow at the Carehome situation back in Lockdown part one.  Not only were people dying but there was the ones who couldn't see their families, or those who had no one but the Care Workers.  In the past, before my optics days, I worked as a domicilary Care Worker, I met some wonderful people but I decided to leave because I wanted to help more and apparently that was nurse work......which I wasn't. 

Now I had once of those dangerous things, a thought, if I can't go and volunteer at the Care home, maybe I could offer a letter writing service, as it were.  Now I love writing letters by hand, I always have and always will. SWALK!!! In my early college days I would send letters to the offices of famous faces I admired, a few times I got replies and autographs and that made me so happy.  

So I sent an email to a few Carehomes and got a reply from my local one telling me they would ask their Residents.  Much to my surprise two weeks later they emailed me back saying two ladies wanted to recieve a letter and were able to reply.  They sent me a little bit of information about them, what they liked and so on and I set about writing.  I can tell you it's lovely writing letters you know will be read by someone, someone who will smile as they do and reply.  Now Mrs Morris and Mrs Tulley are two VERY different people! They became friends while living in the Carehome and both are very strong minded and willed women but..............Mrs Morris is a very naughty lady! She's very cheeky and VERY naughty if you know what I mean. She likes to tell me things about the war and recipes she's found in magazines, she's also a master at crochet and has given me tips to improve my own skills.  I buy her the magazines and she sometimes sends me ones written by hand......BUT! She is very naughty when it comes to men! She made me giggle with her letter a few weeks ago, well actually she made me burst out laughing leaving me half tempted to tweet a photo of her comments to the intended TV Dr she......complimented.  I think that's the kindest word to use.  Don't misunderstand she's not vulgar in anyway, she just openly says if she thinks a man of good looking or has a nice bottom and in this case she wrote the 'If I was 40 years younger' line. You see she, like me, finds being smart, funny, kind and sweet faced attractive.  I like beards though while she doesn't, her husband tried to grow one in their days of courting (Dwaa I love that term.) and told him to shave or she would take the lawn mower to it.  They had a great marriage and she misses him dearly.

Mrs Tulley however is such a sweet natured lady, her letters are shorter than Mrs Morris but still just as lovely.  She calls me a chatter bird and imagines I talk as much in real life as In my letters. (And she would be right, most of the time it's because I love talking to people but at times it's nerves, that and hiccups are signs of me being nervous..... And if I start the cheesy jokes run for the hills!) She used to be a Land girl during the war, we talk mostly about growing things and she's given me some killer tips for my trees. I have four you see, one avocado and tree pine trees. I don't know if the pine trees will grow to become saplings but one can try.  She does talk politics even though she knows I don't fully understand, dispite having met three Prime Ministers myself, she enjoys telling me about Politics Live. (In case your wondering I met John Major as a child because I won a competition, he was very nice and we shook hands after a chat. I also met Tony Blair when he was running for parliament, funny story that, he came to my school and disrupted the lunch break. He asked me what I was up to and I, rather rudely in my own opinion replied 'The library is closed because your here so not much' I mean I could have been nicer but I was bummed out about not going to the library.  And last one was Boris Johnson, that was back in his Mayor days. I was running the banking stuff over the city with a fellow Lab tech and there he was with a few of his people, standing there waiting for the underground my colleague and I did that 'Is that who I think it is' thing and he looked over, waved and said good morning. It was really quite cool actually, we had a chat for three stops about bikes and cake.........I am a bike rider you see and baker and of course we know Boris was into his bikes.) 

Now I'm telling you all of this just to show you my own experience, just with one thought I made two ladies who felt cut off from the world when theirs had changed, happy.  My letters won't change their lives, it won't make this situation any better, but it makes their lives a little happier, it gives them things to talk about, something to look forward to and they really appreciate it. Plus I have two new Nana's who I care deeply for.

Social Media is not evil if you take control. 

It's strange when you think about it, two people I have never met face to face or even spoken to and they have made such an impact on my life that I care and worry about them as if I had.  This is why I like social media, being able to message people you've never met and most you have no change of ever meeting.

Social media can be a blessing but also a curse, there is so much toxic sludge on them and it's hard to see it at times. A few years ago I decided to take myself away from Facebook, my profile is still there but I don't use it, I can't, I have no interest in it what so ever due to the negativity, moaning and things that made me sad. So I left. I have to admit it was the best thing I ever did, I moved to my less than active Twitter account and had a look around.  Gosh I like it so much more, just because someone follows me doesn't mean I have to follow them and see their posts.  I can follow people of interest and the hashtag thing meant I could find and chat to people I had things in common with. So I found the Writing Community, I found famous faces I had interest in and found out about their new books or programmes before seeing it advertised......or emailed to me.  It's nice and my timeline is full of positive things and people I like.  Plus anyone who follows Mark Hamil knows he's the King of feel good tweets what with his cute dog videos, dad jokes and of course he actually hits that heart button or, if your really lucky, drops you a comment! I've had many a smile because a famous face has sent me a reply or liked something I posted.  Also through these famous faces I have met some nice people.

So, as with most things on line there is good and bad, you just have to find that happy medium and discover what platform works for you. You must practice safely and don't do anything you don't want to, and please bare in mind before you send a comment that at the end of a phone, tablet or PC there is a real person. What you type could really upset them.

Take time to learn something new. 

Now we had a long time during the first lockdown, and while I was busy with home learning I still found time to learn something new. 

I've had a sewing machine for ages but never used it for anything other than repairs to a 7 year old costumes. So yes you've guessed it, I turned my hand to learning to sew by hand and machine. It's quite fun to learn something new even something as small as sewing. It kept my mind busy and challange me. 

Now I know they say it's harder to learn new things the older you get but I say it just takes longer. Im a big fan of learning and even more so teaching. Ive been a trainer (Not the shoes silly.) for years now and there's no greater feeling of teaching someone and passing your knowledge onto them. It's even better when you see them putting it into practice.

There's so many new things you could learn not just from books, now a days there's an app for most things. Some are better than others and while some are free those you pay for can have other benefits such as chatting or more courses. One of my favourite websites is the Open University, there's lots of courses and so much for free if your looking to save pennies. But if you want further learning don't be scared to contact your local college, your never too old to learn. 

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/education/free-courses

Weight let's talk about this. 

OK it's not the best of conversations for some people, men AND women feel embarrassed about their weight and that's normal. 

I too feel embarrassed talking about weight especially after lockdown, I put on a stone and a half during that time. It's hard to say that outloud and I guess I tried my best to ignore it but when your favourite clothes stop fitting and you feel yucky you know you can't ignore it anymore. 

You see one day I was Kayleigh Burdett Optical Lab Technician then the next, teacher to a 7 year old. Now that has always been my realistic dream job, be a teacher and teach kids to read and so on. But I digress, during the day I snacked and of course didn't get in those steps as usual. Of course I had more cups of tea while at home and sadly I developed some naughty habits and it all just piled on. 

Don't get me wrong I went for daily walks but it's not the same, from 15-20k steps min to less than 10k a day is not good. And I'm a comfort eater, that was a hard realisation for me but I ate crap when I was sad. And I did get sad during lockdown, I wanted to hug my Nan, I wanted to have a laugh with my brother and, I feel rather selfish for saying it, but I wanted a little time for me but having no school meant that didn't happen. (You don't get much me time with kids but normal life was doing everything for him and then after bedtime relaxing, just doing my things, not getting school things ready and marking.)

So, I digressed again.... As usual when I waffle. I ate, I put weight on and when I finally came to terms with it, after a long cry and a video call with my Nana, I decided to do something about it. I sat down one evening and identified my eating habits, I wrote down all the things I ate and made a promise there and then to stop eating or drinking them and get back to my healthy eating habits. 

Now don't get me wrong I wasn't a health freek who ate good food all day everyday. But I ate good food and naughty ones in moderation, I exercised well in my opinion and I did eat chocolate and ice cream on occasions. 

I am going to be very honest here, I hate diets. I don't believe in them at all. I believe in making changes to what you eat and the way you eat, you can't cut everything out or else food won't be fun. Food should be nice and fun or else it's boring and that's when problems start. Just because it's green doesn't mean it's not yummy. I mean I have friends who just go for the slimming shakes and I say to them 'What about after?' it's a tough subject no matter who you are and everyone has their own thoughts on weight loss. Don't get me wrong, it's not in my nature to judge people and get on my high horse, but I hate to see people sad and upset because they are trying to loose weight by simply drinking shakes, getting constipation and wanting to eat. I tell them you can eat, you can have a fasting day but you must eat. I get so passionate about things I can be seen as rude, but the tides are turned when I say I've not had breakfast, then it's ME getting told off. But that's my lifestyle choice, hence why I can't really get on that high horse. 

Now the following part is just something that worked for me, I'm not telling you to follow what I done but I do advise looking around, talking to professionals and discover what's good for you and your weight loss. 

But one thing I will say and I do hope you take it away if nothing else, and that is..... 

STOP FOCUSING ON THOSE NUMBERS!!!! 

By that I mean the weighing scales. Yes your loosing weight and that's a part of it, but don't let it consume your life. Weight loss can take time, the numbers won't fall off in days, it can take weeks and months. Pay attention to your clothes. Trust me, that moment when you feel your undies are slightly different will feel much better than looking at scales. (But it's sad when your favourite yoga pants stop fitting.) Focus on how your body feels, you'll feel differently about weight loss if you focus more on that. I'm sure there's some who will disagree with me on that and that's fine but it helped me and gave me more confidence to keep up the good work. 

So, somethings I did during lockdown to help with this change of life style, Of course I changed my eating habits, no more fizzy drinks, sugar free or not they had to go. I did drink fizzy drinks alot over the lockdown instead of fruit juice. I also saw that my two sugar tea had to change, so I decided to reduce that from two to one. Tea has always been my one pleasure. Well vice really, too many in the Lab and gosh knows how many at home and even MORE if I'm working on a novel. 

I searched YouTube for some Yoga and those really cool videos of scenery. Odd I hear you say but really nice when using the exercise bike with your headphones on. Using your mind while doing things like this can really transport you to places. Even just walking on the spot your burning calories and listening to your favourite playlist while having that video on helps transport you there. 

One mile happy walk, a fifteen minute work out to get those steps in.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=njeZ29umqVE 

While yoga in a group is fun there's still benefits to doing it at home. Here's a nice 20 minute, yoga for beginners at home workout.  Take a few and have a go.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v7AYKMP6rOE

And finally one of those scenery videos for the days you,break that exercise bike out

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=USUJa3N3TOM 

The great thing about today's world is the Internet can help so much. Videos, video calling, being able to order books and so on and so fourth. Of course there is the down side and that's being able to sit and binge watch your favourite shows. (Who remembers having to wait a week for the next episode and videoing them on VHS 📼?) It's tough, just remember, even though you may have worked out for an hour, and that in itself is great, don't then sit and snack while watching your TV show for the next hour or ten. 

Another thing I found so helpful and fun was the Wii. Yes the Wii came out of the cupboard over lockdown as did the dancing games! If you have kids it's something you can do together too, it's fun to see who gets the best score, let them pick the song or just see who does the best end pose. Kids can really up the happiness levels of a work out even if it's marching in the spot. 

Now when it comes to books about dieting I'm really not the girl to ask, I've never bought a dieting book before, just books with healthier foods.  But I did find this little beauty of a book and yes, it is a dieting book.....it just doesn't feel like one that's all.

👇🏻 👇🏻 👇🏻 👇🏻 

https://www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-lose-weight-well/dr-xand-van-tulleken/georgina-davies/9781849499514

(You can find the book on other platforms too and there are other books from the series written by other authors but I'm a huge fan of the Van Tulleken twins and seeing as Dr Xand is a Dr and so on I picked this one.) 

Now I'm going to be honest here, I didn't buy this book for dieting tips! I'm sorry! I was actually looking for Operation Ouch books for my boy and it popped up. So me being me thought, 'Hmm, sounds interesting and written by my favourite TV Doctor (Sorry Dr Chris your second.) so I popped it in the basket and here we are..... And I love me a good recipe book...... I might have more than a few. 

Anyway, I highly recommend getting this book, hire it from the library even. Its a wealth of information, some of the things I've read made my eyes pop, I might have said 'really!' A bit loud on the train too. To me it doesn't feel at all like a diet book, it's more like, how to explain it so it makes sense to you? Try and imagine having a friend that's a doctor and you want to have an in dept chat about food and ways to eat healthy, life style and what you could do to change them, you'd want it to be light hearted with jokes but serious too. Well it's like that, you can't not have Dr Xand's voice reading in your head, it's official and professional but written in a way that screams, 'This is Dr Xand here, professional and funny.'  There's some amazing recipes in there too! 

It also confirmed a few things I already did in my life too, such as fasting......... And cheese 🧀  It's nice to read a book about eating well from a Doctor, I never really knew much about Dr Xand and his past adventures, I knew of his twin brother Chris before Operation Ouch because he went on an adventure with Bruce Parry. (A great DVD and book to have a watch and read!) But wow this guy! Anyway back to the book, there's a lot of good information and eating plans in there and it's kinder changed my view of diet books.  To be honest I don't think I'd get another one as this is perfect, it's not written as some celeb telling you drink a gallon of wee and......I know I know sorry! But you get the idea. And the fact he's tried lots of diets on the programme it shows he knows what's he talking about and I like that. Also I like scientific facts and he backs up his words with his own medical knowledge.  Also, I love the receipts in there, I'd say 90% Have been a hit with myself and my boy.  I do think however the Sweet Potato Pancakes need to be renamed as 'Dr Xand's mega energy boost breakfast pancakes.' Once again my boy and his knack for naming everything. He loves them! So yes, a good book that doesn't feel like a diet book.

Another good book for food, especially in this time of saving the pennies is this one

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https://www.amazon.co.uk/Delias-Frugal-Food-Delia-Smith/dp/034091856X/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=Frugal+cooking+Delia&qid=1604920769&sr=8-2 

Good old Delia Smith to the rescue! (Que the epic music.) Now this was bought for me as a gift many years ago by a friend as a secret santa, well not so secret. She found it funny I always made my own lunch and was always crocheting hats and scarfs. 'Why make it when you can easily buy it?' she would say. I enjoyed it and still do is the long and short of it. 

Now this book, wow its so good even now! It has those warm meals you want on a naughty day, something for everyone. I've always been a Delia fan ever since I was a kid watching her with my Grandpa, waiting for him to crack the Capers joke.  I always wanted to cook with her, her cakes, num, num, num! She just felt like a mum you'd want to cook for you everyday.  You can keep your Jamie Oliver, I'll have Delia in my kitchen on a Sunday.

I do firmly believe there is a cook book for everyone out there, you just have to look and find it. (Like friendship or love right?) 

But to finish, weight loss is a personal journey and you can share it with others. Yes you may weigh more that you want but you will shed it. It's tough and people will bang on about will power. You do need will power in a way, for me it was the will power to say no, I'm not eating that, to push myself further, to take that extra ten minute walk, to dance to one more song.  If someone has the will power to get up, do the school run and go to work, then come home and take care of their kids/family and have a chocolate or cake at the end, that's not a lack of will power.  Not to me anyway. Don't do it every day but know will power, it's just an odd thing to explain. I see it like this.....

So you have a cake because you felt sad, that doesn't mean you don't have the will power to lose weight.  Does that make sense?

It takes time and yes you will slip up, it's ok to slip up once in a while. Your a human not a robot, you have needs and if you felt that cake was needed then you sit and enjoy that cake. Just don't over do it and have ten cakes. See what I mean, one is fine but ten is not. Same with cheese really and I challange any one to a dual who says otherwise. Have cheese and enjoy that cheese!

Just don't be too hard on yourself ok, weight loss takes time and dedication, it's going to be hard at first but you've got this! 

It's ok to cry. 

I was going to leave this section out, but then I thought, I want you to know it's ok to cry. So many people feel embarrassed about it, they want to hide away. Now sometimes it's good to lock yourself in your room and have a private cry but trust me, having a cry with someone there with you is a wonderful feeling. I have hugged lots of people I know and love when they need a good cry.  Having a pair of arms go around you tightly while you break down can make you feel safe. It's a moment your frail and vulnerable and those arms, no matter who they are can keep you together and feel safe from The world around you. I felt that way when My Grandpa hugged me, and I've been told I'm a great hugger....unless you ask my Nana then I break your ribs. I know we can't hug our loved ones right now and that's hard, I'm a hugger and I miss hugging my best friends, my family. 

Life is hard enough without this Corona Virus and while we're doing our best as a nation, we need to remember ourselves. 

I do believe having a cry is healthy for you, I'm no doctor you understand but it just feels like a release and once I've dried my face and blown my snotty nose, I feel better not just in my mind but my heart. Call me soppy if you like but it really does. 

Here's my example.

November 4 would have been my Grandpa's birthday, he died and it hits me that I can't make that phone call, no matter how short it was. He was my father figure and hero, he told me how life works and to work hard at everything you do. All the things a real dad did. So yes, his death hit me and it hit me hard. 

Three days after he died I was helping a patient, yes I was out of the laboratory, and half way through the radio played a song, 'Dance with my Father' Luthor Van Dross and I couldn't help it, I excused myself and cried on the steps at work. I couldn't listen to that song for months after. Now I realised that song made me cry because I always had a vision that one day I would get married, he would walk me down the aisle and we had that father and daughter dance, that's what I always wanted. But hearing that song just clicked something in my brain and out they came. 

So back to this year November 4, I took my boy to school and came home trying to keep my mind off the day, but I just couldn't focus and there was a lump in my chest I couldn't  shift. So I went to my room, pulled up that song, picked up my childhood Teddy, (yes 34 and I still have my Teddy 🐻 love me, love my Teddy.) I let it play and once the chorus hit, the tears fell. Yes I'm not shamed, I full on cried into poor Teddy but I felt so much better after. It felt like a release, the feeling in my chest was gone and my mind was clearer.  I also had visions of my Grandpa tell me to stop being soppy in his own way and that made me smile.

Things can get on top of us and life is hard, there's so much to contend with and while some of us are parents and have to put them first, we do need time to take care of ourselves. After all, if I'm not well or at 100% who will take care of my boy? 

So if you feel like crying do it, don't be ashamed. If you want to talk to someone about how you feel, do it, even if you write it down. On Twitter I have my messages open so if you ever want a chat drop me a hello, I'm a pretty good listener and I always have a joke or two.... Other than that I'm sure I can find a Giff that will make you grin. 

So here's the links to two really good books I love to read, I'm a bit of a romantic and The Princess Bride is my Favourite book while Big Fish just captures my heart.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Fish-Daniel-Wallace/dp/147117302X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Big+fish+book&qid=1604928834&sr=8-1 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Princess-Bride-William-Goldman/dp/0747545189/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=The+Princess+Bride+book&qid=1604933666&quartzVehicle=6-132&replacementKeywords=the+bride+book&sr=8-2

Here's some cool hacks that just popped up. 

Now I'm not big on the term 'hack' but I guess it fits nicely for somethings. My YouTube watching history is full of funny Cat videos, Ark building projects, try not to laugh or sing challenges and Operation Ouch clips, (When your son wants a quick giggle, clips work great.) 

So, up pops a 'You should watch' because I watched Operation Ouch suggestion. It was Hacks from Dr Xand together with Werlabs. It's two really feel good videos delivered in a way only Dr Xand can, serious but funny. 

Now I mention these in their own section because they really are full of some good information, I've shared them with a few friends and they really liked them, especially the part about coffee. I wish I could thank Dr Xand personally for giving me a sentence that has helped me stop eating all that bad office cake and snacks, something so small but it really worked and I carry on using it even today. I get some strange looks at times but I think people are getting used to it and stop offering me office cake.

I don't eat that stuff, it makes me fat. 

(I'm currently crocheting a project for Chris and Xand, it would be awesome if I could send them once I'm done but I'll post a photo for them to see so it's kinder the same.  Once again using social media in a good and rewarding way, imagine if they smile at it even for a moment, mission complete! Now I'm making a Chris doll hugging one of his toys, Yellow Cow, it's a bit tricky as I'm looking at a photo and making it up as I go, that's hard with no pattern to follow. Then for Dr Xand I'm making a larger Mr Grumbles hugging him, I thought after the hack about hugs it might make him smile to see his teddy hugging him.) 

The videos cover some really important things and I'm sure at least one thing will help, although I don't think I'll be having cold showers no matter how tempting he makes them look.  I'll stick to my nice warm one....then freezing my butt off when I get out.  I also started to get up at the same time everyday, even at weekends because it made sense.  There's no other way to put it. There are so many little things we can change and it just makes sense, it's just one of those 'Durr I didn't think like that.' moments. I often get teased about hugging, I always make sure to hug my loved ones and my close friends before I leave. Not only do I feel good but it's some kind of piece of mind for me, not to sound morbid here but if something were to happen then at least I've hugged you. Like the, don't go to bed angry with a partner or child rule. If I've had to tell my boy off I always make sure he knows I still love him, give him a  huge hug and tell him to stop being silly. It's better for my mind and his too, we both get a good night sleep.  It's easy to forget how much we need human contact and not just love from our children and a hug can make us feel so much and do an incredible amount mentally.  As I said before, I'm a huge softie.

Let's try something here, still on the hugging thing so we're still on topic.  Imagine you've had a crappy day, or week even, you might have a partner, maybe you live alone, maybe you live with a friend, family member, whatever.  You just feel crap. Now you unexpectedly get a hug from your flat mate, your family member who dropped by, your child Or, if you dare, your on the way home and you meet a famous face and they give you a hug. You've had a hug right? Remember that feeling? Now try and have a hug a day, even if it's from a friend at work.  If you live alone I know that's not possible now due to Covid, but soon, just hang in there, the human mind is a beautiful thing, it's not just a curse that gives you bad feelings.  Remember the best hug you've had, or maybe a hug you would love to have.....maybe someone at work or off the telly? 😉 🤭 

👇🏻 👇🏻 👇🏻 👇🏻 

Part one

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qy3pW-g9d58

Part two

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m2cYmlWSk5c

I'm not sure how tempted I am to get the Werlabs test done but that's because I have a phobia of injections and blood tests make me shiver just thinking about it.  But it's something to look at that's for sure.......hack for not freeking out at blood tests please! It's a good idea to have some idea of your own health......lots of ideas there.........I have my own kind of MOT for work but that's more of an outter body thing, can I see, can I stand, are my legs bow jangles and so on. Working with machines in a lab means you have to tick boxes so it's important I keep myself in check, but these videos have made me think I should look more into my health. Even more so after I put that weight on, what damage have I done, am I more at risk now of things I never even thought of.  It's food for thought ....and no that wasn't a joke. 

So to finish up 

Now I know that was a deeply personal post and you most likely feel we've been on a date, got married and grown old together, but I do hope it helps, or at least made you giggle...... Or passed the time on a boring journey....... Or on the loo.... Let's face it we all do something other than sit there looking around while in the loo. 

I know it's a strange world right now but there is magic to be seen if you look hard enough. Make a friend, send a message to someone on social media, you never know they might say hi back. Phone your friend, video call, its an amazing time to be alive. Any of you who are my age, imagine lockdown when we was kids, no video calls or the Internet, just phones calls and letters. 

Be kind not just to others but to yourself too, you are an amazing person. 

Thank you for reading, as I said that was alot to read and I hope you do take something away, even if it's buying a new book or growing a plant. And for the record, I have lost that weight from lockdown, it's taking time and I did feel really blue at one point I won't lie, but I feel better than ever and my jeans fit nicely again so whoohoo!

I'll sign off and put these toadstool away for you, it's been a long one and sitting for too long is bad for you.......I've been sitting for two hours writing this and my bum needs a jiggle!

So take care and tatty bye

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

Remember- 

Wear a mask.... It makes you look like a ninja. 

Wash your hands.... Or else no one will hold your hands in the future. 

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Special Guest-: Marcus Fox Aka ThatMisterJ

Hello my lovelies,

First of all, how are you all? I hope the passed days since my last blog have been full of fun, fun, fun and not too much strife.  If you need a laugh I would recommend a good old British comedy such as Blackadder, the Second I'd recommend.

Now I mention Blackadder the Second over them all as my special guest has a soft spot for this series, as do I.  I'd like to introduce to you a man of many faces, voices and talents, a streamer and cosplayer elite, hello and welcome to the Grotto Marcus Fox, better known as J, please pull up a toad stool and tell us a little something about yourself,

Well first off, hey there reader *Waves* nice to meet you and thanks for reading.

I'm a guy of few names but most know me as J, I'm a talker of nonsense on random podcasts, streamer of good games being played badly on Twitch, an uncle of a little weirdo and a peanut.  But most of all I'm just the average nerd who loves all things strange and weird.

Strange and weird are two qualities that makes us unique, and besides, there are some pretty amazing things out there in the strange and weird sections.  Now you mentioned you stream, what made you decide to join the streaming world, can you remember your first stream?

Oh funny story that, I had no real idea what streaming was when I first joined the streaming community.  A few friends of mine have streamed a game or two for me to look at but that's it.  I remember walking passed the CEX stand at Comicon years ago, (That's a super fun convention, a gathering of people with the same interests and even grace it with costumes of amazing detail.) I was looking for a Kinect for my Xbox (Boo!) grabbed the cheapest one there and a day later they said, 'Hay let's try this streaming thing.'  And here I am 5 years later fully entrenched in the battle for entertaining the weirdos and crazies that pass by the stream.

My first streams were a shambles honestly, but I remember my first one, I got so internally happy when I saw I had my first viewer......then realised it was my IPad that I was using for chat........that was a whole thing,  my first real stream was Alien Isolation when I had people trying to scare me into making mistakes.  We created a persona for the Xenomorph.....his name was Boris, all he wanted to do was hug Riply and give her crumpets while twirling his curly tash and tails.  Those were fun nights I can tell you.

I have to admit that does sound like fun, it can be a little daunting joining any community virtual or otherwise but it is a community none the less and such good fun even if your a viewer.  So, from your point of view what if the best thing about streaming and game play?

Well that has to be the community, there's no better feeling than bonding with people through gaming.  I've met People like Pig and over the last four years, I've come to think of the guy as a pain in the a** Older brother.  Or take Tarkus and Grundy who have become the 'Dude bros' you can just chill out with and have some stupid talks, do bad impressions and stupid voices while taking a game of Apex semi seriously.

There's nothing better than creating a safe space for people to chill out while hanging with friends they never thought they could make.  So far the Asylum (That's what we call ourselves.) has bought people from across the globe together to play games, chill out and be so awesome.

As far as game play? It's nice to share my brand of 'Bad Gaming' with people other than my sister or friends who I used to play with.

I was always called the 'Gavin' of my old gaming crew because I was so bad, like the guy from Achievment  Hunter.  It's also really fun to see how I improve on games over time as I look back at older streams.

That must be fun to watch old streams back, like rewatching an old show and thinking, gosh I didn't remember that or laughing at fun times.  So other than streaming, what else do you do with you're spare time?

I love my music, movies and making things, I'm currently in the process of finishing off a Mandolorain costume and props for when Comic Con returns.  I'll be watching Star Trek or a movie here or there, I'll read from time to time, I just finished one of my sisters books which was pretty good.

Dwaaa thank you ❤️ (For years he's been wanting me to type up, publish and dedicate a book of mine and I've been procrastinating so bad, sorry.)  As with most things in life we are inspired, whether that's through music, art, people we know or indeed never met, we all have someone or something that inspires us.  So, who inspires you?

Inspires me? *Strokes beard thoughtfully.* if we're talking real life terms? That's my sister for sure, (Hello dear reader I promise she didn't pay me to say that.). She's been a constant in my life that, with or without knowing, has pushed me to do better in what I do........she's a pain in my a** but I love her regardless. (Well it's my job to be annoying!)

As far as anything else, Jean Luc Picard.......need I say anymore?

For anyone who has never visited planet earth and doesn't know who Jean Luc Picard is, he is a character played by the overly talented Sir Patrick Stewart on the TV show Star Trek the Next Generation.  Younger readers will know him as Professor X from X-Men.  

Back to streaming. Now having an active chat and stream means many things,such as funny things being said, your reactions etc.  Can you recall the weirdest thing that's ever happened while live?

I guess that's goes by your definition of weird really.  I've had a male viewer call me Daddy before, someone has asked me out in the chat while I was in the middle of a huge final battle of a game.  There was this one time.........no, no we won't go into that one.  (Was it at bamdcamp?)

I think the stream itself is considered weird so pinpointing moments is hard sometimes.

Thats true, when you have streams everyday only the main ones stick out in your mind.  So let's drift away from streaming for a bit and ask the really important questions here............if you could hang out with any character from a game who would it be and why?

Now that is a hard one, would it be obvious if I said Harley Quinn? (Yes.) Or Joker? (Again......) Man it's a hard choice.  Harley because if you know.....you know.  And Joker because......well it's Joker!!! I could learn so much, perfect the voice and attitude.......basically what I'm saying is I want to hang out with Mark Hamil.

Well any Joker or Star Wars fan would love to hang out with Mark Hamil! I know I would most likely ask him, do that voice, now that voice, ohhh now do that one.  What's the strangest thing you've ever purchased, we all have had that moment when we've bought something and thought, what the hell was I thinking?

A bad dragon.....I mean....what? Um I think a stuffed iguana when I lost the battle of wits with .........

No, seriously, I mean I wouldn't call it strange but a head mask with a demon skull bursting through the mouth with blood and stuff....never really used it.

Now I kinder feel the need to ask, this was a game we played at my place of work when bored, if you had to loose one part of your body what would it be and why? We all have that body part we want gone right?

My feet, they hurt every day and they just look gross. (I have to aggree with you on that one, I mean why did evolution decide that shape? I understand from a scientific point of view but come on!?). I think I would replace them with those freeking awesome blade legs, you know?  Or Ironman boots!!! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!

Oh they are endless, we had so many funny replacements for our body parts, being Lab Techs it could get ridiculous at any point.  But back to you, now this might seem rather grim but it's a another fun one.  Do you have any rules for your funeral and what would be your three songs during service?

I wouldn't say rules as such, but I want Jeff there, fully dressed up as Death. (He's the resident costume stand and pain in my foot shop maniquine.)  you know, full Grim Reaper, Scyth, robes,my he full works!  

Of course I want no blubbering, spluttering that kind of thing, I'm dead, I'm not going to see how sad you are.  But black is a must, not because of where you are but it just goes with everything.

You know while writing this out I realised you didn't answer my song choice, tut, tut.........so I'll pick for you. For the opening service, Lego Movie Catchy Song, middle hmmm.....Prince Charming Adam And the Ants......then baby Shark!!! Haha! Kidding but I would have The Orginal Series Theme of Star Trek playing as your casket leaves.  Anywho, sticking with the death theme, what would your gravestone say?

"Here lies J and he's bloody annoyed." (Blackadder much?) or there's "FINALLY I CAN GET SOME SLEEP!" And then there's the best of all, "HELP ME I WAS ONLY SLEEPING GET ME OUT OF HERE,"

I love that question, it's really fun to see what others would have, something sweet, a poem, or something funny. I'd go with the funny to be honest, then everytime people come to my grave side they will smile.  Although I already know the answer to this one..............I'm going to ask anyway...........Who is the most annoying person you've ever met?

My sister........say no more.........or Pig................how about both? *Nods to self.* both......both is good.

Well I can't really deny it........I'm the older one.....so yeah.......I am annoying.....comes with the job title really! Now onto something different, what about the afterlife, do you believe and if so what would you do in your afterlife?

I DO! I wish I could be a ghost hunter I really do,now that would make for awesome streams.  Join the Ghost Adventures Crew, see what waits for us on the other side.  I'd love a spirit box to see if those things actually work but I think I'd be a little creeped out if it did.

I think if the afterlife was real like that I would have to kick people for no reason........move things around making them think they were going crazy, that kinder thing, just generally be the friendly annoying ghost.  

The afterlife is such a great topic, for those who believe, those who don't and of course those on the fence with it.  Let's not even start with what we'd get up to! So what's the most ridiculous thing someone has tricked you into doing!

Hay look another one that involves my sister! We used to have drink downing contests as kids, (Fruit juice I would like to add!) Well one contest we had cherry aid.......well she had the cherry aid while I had a glass with a little cherry aid.....the rest was pickle juice.  Well I spat it out all over her carpet and ran off.  (I had to clean that up......but my gosh it was so funny it was worth it!)

 So earlier you mentioned Comic Con, you meet famous people there right? Have you ever had an embarrassing moment with any of them?  

I physically bumped into David Hasslehoff on the Con floor once and screamed "HOFF!" Without realising it.......but it was hard to see or hear out of Darth Vaders helmet so you know..........

Now I will admit you gave me a few answers for that question but that made me laugh, imagine a 6f + Vader bumping into the HOFF!  Too funny.  You have met some pretty cool people over the years, maybe we can make a post about that at a later date? Sticking with the cosplay, if you could be one of your cosplays for a day who would you be and why?

I think I'd like to get back into Vader again and make him so much more better, then visit children's wards in hospitals just to brighten their day. nothing sucks worse than being stuck in hospital at that age. (I think you'd make some adults happy too.) 

Ok so final question then we're all done, I'm sure that toadstool is getting slightly uncomfortable.  What are your plans for the future with streaming?

Honestly I'd love you hit Partnership at some point down the line, just to tell myself I've made it! I've got a bottle of Jack Daniels in the office with 'Open when partner.' On the label, it would be great to pop that bottle one day.  But I think more than anything my plans are to keep on spreading those good vibes while creating a safe space for whoever wants to join us. I don't care who you are, where your from, what you did.....hang on isn't that Backstreet Boys? (Yes it is, I think I played them enough growing up.)  if I can make one persons day better by them coming into stream to watch me mess up on something so easy like jumping off a roof into a new spot in Dark Souls 200 times and screaming "I FINALLY EFFING DID IT SOMEONE CLIP THAT S**T!" And then die walking through the door to the next area before being able to save it then it's all been worth it.

I've always said you can be black, white, green, pink, red, gay, straight, bi, trains, Vulcan or Ferengi, you are all welcome, everyone is free to be themselves in my stream, it's a safe environment and you become part of the family once you settle in.

If you take the time to endure me in my idiotcy on stream, we make the time to make you feel as welcome as you should be, not matter who you are.

Wow, what a lovely way to end the interview......I never knew he could be so sweet......on a serious note and not because I'm his sister every word he said is true in that last answer.it is a great place to be, the chat is funny, the people are great and J does make you laugh so much. And unlike some streams I've been to he doesn't ask for money or beg.  It's just good games played badly with a whole lot of laughs and giggles.....and swears. So drop him a follow and join the family 

https://m.twitch.tv/thatmisterj 

So thats me signing off for now my lovelies, what do you think of the new layout and theme? Hopefully I'll be putting out some more posts on a regular basis.....but as you who read me regularly know, I'm the worlds worst blogger! It could be months before my next post! 😅😅😅 seriously though I am working on a few as we speak, I have asked a few people for interviews and I'm working on a health related post because I'm sure, like me, lockdown had left you feeling a little down in so many ways and I wanted to share a few things I found that helped me.

So all that leaves me to do is put these toadstools away and clean up the tea cups and wish you all well and a good old fashioned Nightshade's Grotto Tatty Bye.

Tatty bye my lovlies

X X X 

Remember, wear a mask, you'll look like a ninja, wash your hands, because smelly hands are NOT attractive, and maintain social distance......because if you haven't washed your hands..................

Hands

Face

Space 

Lockdown pinks and blues

Hello everyone you lovely people,

Yes it's the return of the worlds worst Blogger, now THERES a book title if ever I saw one.

I think it's safe to say 2020 has indeed been a bit of an odd year so far and it doesn't seem to be getting any less in the weeks to come. Things have changed so fast and not everything is clear I know but as humans we are good at adapting even if we don't really want to.  If history has taught us anything, and it has taught us many wonderful things, it's showed we humans are resilient, adaptable and stupid.  Yes I said stupid and that's not a typo, some humans are stupid and don't always do what's best, but who am I to judge? All I really need to worry about is myself and my family, if I protect them, then the rest falls into place, I protect others that way too, if I understand it correctly.

But enough of the doom and gloom, this new way of life is with us and will be for a while.  Lockdown life was hard for all of us, I decided it was time to catch up on things I kept putting off, like cleaning out that drawer full of things I never use, and the coal cupboard.  Yes coal cupboard, my property is rather old fashioned, which I love!  I managed to get a lot of writing done and even started editing, I hate editing I really do, my adopted Mum helps with that, the great editor she is.  

I have to admit my telly vision has been on a lot more than usual, I'm rather happy to say I've discovered some new to shows I rather enjoy.  Bless This House was one, I'm a HUGE Carry On fan so to see Sid James in something other than that was refreshing.  

I also introduced my boy to Yonderland, I think it's safe to say he's now a fan.  He's a big Horrible Histories fan, as am I due to the fact its gory and all the fun stuff I used to read about in the libraries.  School history was rather dull.  If you haven't watched Yonderland I highly recommend it, it's fun for all the family you know.  It's written and stars six of the actors/actress from Horrible Histories, they have a name for their troupe now, ThemThere.  I tell you they have such talent the likes of Python, Blackadder, Faulty Towers and the such.  It's good,wholesome family fun..........with puppets!!! The same troupe have also written Ghosts, a BBC series about, well.  Ghosts. It's such a beautiful series, funny on so many levels and series 2 didn't disappoint. I can't say too much about series 2 as I'm never one to spoil, all I will say is it's perfection, I have never seen my boy get happy, angry, sad then laugh in one programme, and that was just one episode.  It's so cleverly written, little things make it unique, for example, you know how most shows have people feeling cold when a ghost passes through them? Well in Ghosts it's the ghost who has the experience, they feel sick. The ghosts are from different time periods, from an adorable Stone Age man to a rather familiar politician, it's so well written right down to the kinky little details.

I've also returned to my golden oldies, Blackadder of course, Faulty Towers,Porridge, Carry On, Python of course, and I did put Bottom on too.  I have to admit I did put Jackass on too 🤗 I'm pretty sure most of you have watched these classics, if you haven't........it's over.......it's not you its me......what's the other lines? Hehe. Not I'm kidding of course, I just really like old British comedy, Tommy Cooper for one, he was beyond amazing, plus he makes me think of Sunday afternoons with my grandpa. If you haven't watched Tommy you really need to, he's so good at being bad at Magic. His jokes are so wonderfully simple and charming, even just him laughing in that way makes you smile. It's sad that he died, and even sadder he died on stage and everyone thought it was part of the act. But if you think about it, Tommy loved to make people laugh, it was his passion. So imagine the last thing you hear before you die is laugher.  That wonderful symphony of people laughing, being happy, a sound you created and always chase, your passion, I mean I know it's a little grim that he died and they laughed, I'm sure if the crowd knew it wasn't part of the act there would be no laughing.  But you know I like to look on the brighter side, and to have the last thing you hear is laugher, wow.  Also, if BBC Ghosts is anything to go by, his Ghost is wearing that Fezz, that flamboyant jacket and living in a theatre where his heart lies.  

I've been reading a lot too, my boy wanted me to start Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, sadly I have and I'm not looking forward to finishing that for obvious reasons. I love how children see the same book you read in a different light. We really loose that innocents and wonder when we become adults.  It's sad really that we loose some of that childlike wonder as adults, I still some of my childlike wonder, but not as much as I used to. Real life came along and said, get you're head out of the clouds.

I gave a lot of thought to my dreams recently, I had two dreams as a child and well into my teens, I even wrote an essay in college about them. My first dream was to learn to drive and buy a VW Camper Van, a purple and cream one with a little kitchen and space to sleep.  I would then travel around the UK writing stories and finding small jobs as I went, seasonal jobs and the such.  I loved that idea, I also loved and still do VWs, a Camper Van and a Beatle was my perfect two care garage.  The second dream was to own and run my own book publishing house, Cloud Dragon Publishing House. I would travel around the country and discover new talent, publishing their works and flood the market with amazing undiscovered works that major publishers over looked,

I would still love to do that, maybe the first is more realistic when I retire from work forever.  Who knows what the future holds right. But it's nice to have that dream.

I guess that's a long enough entry, more of a short snippet of my lockdown, it was tough don't get me wrong, but I think writing and all the small things got me through. I mean Mark Hamil made my day on Twitter when he liked a few of my tweets.  He's liked a few over the years and even wished me a happy birthday with a lovely Giff and the words, happy birthday to KayleighPops, that was my user name then. Thank you little brother for that.

I hope even in some little way you enjoyed this post and hopefully inspired you to watch some great tv or even write your own little account of lockdown.  

So all that's left is for me to say is take care of yourselves and stay safe.  Remember to try and see that silver lining because it is there, get sleep too, that's important!

Tatty bye my lovelies

Ps my new Twitter is @TrooperKB1986 yes I am a nerd and proud of it 😜 

What a mad, crazy, strange time we live in.

Well as I'm sure you all know, life has been a little crazy 🤪 recently. The Covid19 crisis have all of our lives upside down, round and around and every which way but normal.

It's a time of staying inside, stay at home, supporting your heath care workers, supporting each other. We have to make it together time, those with children will know it's hard to make them understand. 

Now my family and I have some routine I can get back to blogging, writing etc.

I think it's safe to say this will be with us a while so we should make the most of together time.

I'll post a blog soon

Take care, stay home and virtual hugs

Tatty bye

Special Guest number one confirmed

Yes you know him as That Mister J but I know him as that tall, smelly footed, little big brother who snores when he sleeps. 

Gamer, Streamer and Cosplay elite (In my eyes 👀) J will be here ready to answer my questions, if you have any of your own please send them to me via the email on the blog page or via Twitter @kayleigh_pops ♥ 

Tatty bye my lovelies 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

Of course I'm researching

So it's been a while again, I know I'm terrible, but hay those glasses 👓 need to be made and that novel needs writing.

So I have two novels currently being edited, snore! I have two novels I'm working on including a survival themed! Yes I know right, something different for me, not one sign of magic, swords or magical creatures! 🤯

To be honest I really enjoy survival shows and books, such information and history. Imagine a time before a supermarket? You had to know what to eat and what to leave. But in survival situations people change, the fight of flight kicks in, the different philosophy from different people. Its amazing! I've been reading books yes, watching some great shows and even managed to have an online chat with a lovely lady, who doesn't want her name mentioned, she told me all abouther skills she uses the wilds of Utah. It's amazing how fire cam be made without a lighter. She's given me permission to say she works as an office worker but once a year she goes for a Walk About in the desert lands of Utah for three weeks and just lives off the land. It's amazing, she just up sticks and off she goes. Imagine being able to do that, she is very spiritual and couldn't imagine her life without this little get away.

I really enjoy Dual Survival at the moment, not only is it full of interesting information but the dynamics of the presenters are mesmerising! For those of you who doesn't know, Dual Survival is a series of survival scenarios where the presenters live it out showing you how to get out alive...... But, and here's the part I really like, one is a primitive skills expert and the other military! It's amazing, I have to admit season 3 bought in a new Special Operations Military guy and the pace of the show changed. 

Cody, the primitive expert seems like a walking, taking encyclopaedia, comes over a little odd on the show at times. I don't think I could be stuck on an island with him though, maybe it's just editing?

Dave, Army dude, he's quite good but I just didn't feel it. He was a good woodsman don't get me wrong and he had some amazing knowledge. 

Now it wasn't until Joe joined in series 3 did I really enjoy it, the show made more sense and the difference in styles really shown through. Joe seems like a get up and go guy. Let's get home but at the same time he has protection of others in mind. Also, having a stronger personality going up against Cody was visually entertaining. If I'm honest Joe Teti's attitude and ethics are very appealing to me as an author, he would make a great character! (I'm thinking if I can contact him I could try and get him as a special guest and even put the idea forward to have a character based on him!)

After Cody left Matt came to the show, I was elated, Matt is an amazing individual! He runs, he goes on walkabouts, he wants to learn about the land and has such respect for the land its heart warming.

I would totally advise you to watch Dual Survival if you like entertaining survival shows. 

Anyway, as usual I digress kinder. I've been taking notes while I watch these shows and reading the books as I have an idea for a survival romance, survival thriller, I'm bit sure where it falls genre wise. 

Well, back to the grind of research..... I say grind I LOVE 😍 learning new things. 

Have a lovely day whatever your up to

Tatty bye 👋🏼 

With all that work over....

Just a quick one my dears, I'm finally having some time off making those glasses 👓

I'll be Blogging so much more from now on, join me for interviews, updates and just some general fun with Nightshade at the Grotto 

Laters tatters my lovelies 

❤️